Absence
by Lady Callista
Summary: Although she understands why he can't come on Valentine's Day, Karin misses her boyfriend and is very grateful when his friends give her a way to talk to him. Series: After the Winter War Couple: Hitsu/Karin, set during the gap in "No Warm Memories"


Disclaimer: Kubo is god, Kubo is king, Tite Kubo owns everything. I am making no money from this. I also do not own any of the quotes I use in any chapter.

Author's Notes: Hitsu/Karin. After the Winter War series. Set after No Warm Memroies, and before Hanabi.

Still working on the other stories in the After the Winter War series that are already in-progress, but this short story was inspired both by Valentine's Day and by a dream I had a few days ago. Yes, I dream about anime. I'm a geek. Deal with it. Anyway, this is just a cute little HitsuKarin piece set a bit over a year after the War ends (so it takes place DURING No Warm Memories), and is Karin-centric. If you haven't read that story and love HitsuKarin, I would recommend it. But here are the basics if you just want this story: Toshiro and Karin have been dating since soon after the war ended, even though he can only come see her once a month or so. (Orihime, Rangiku, and Momo are the only three people who know, and they're not telling.) Last year he managed to time his visit to Valentines Day, but he's not going to be able to do so this year.

That's about all you need. Enjoy. Even though it's a one-shot, reviews are greatly appreciated.

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Absence

By Lady Callista

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_OoOoOoOoOoOoO_

_"Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire."_

_-Francois de la Rouchefoucauld_

_OoOoOoOoOoOoO_

It was the night of Valentine's Day, and Kurasaki Karin was studying. She'd hoped to spend Valentine's Day, this second year that she was a teenager, doing something a little more fun.

But no, her boyfriend couldn't see her today.

And that sounded so mundane, Karin thought with a chuckle as she gave up on the list of English vocabulary words and let her gaze drift to the window.

Her boyfriend couldn't fly through her window tonight because he wasn't able to sneak away from his world and follow a butterfly through a portal into her world.

There, that sounded much more like her life.

Karin was suddenly startled out of her thoughts by a knock on her door.

"I'm studying." She lied easily. "What do you want?"

"Karin-chan, can I talk to you for a minute?" Orihime's gentle voice drifted through the door.

Karin scanned her desk hurriedly, shoving the scrap of paper on which she'd been doodling Toshiro's name under a book. "Sure, come in Orihime-nee." Karin had just spun in her chair to face the door when the older girl entered, closing the door behind her.

"I…uh…"

"I thought you and Ichi-nii were going out to dinner tonight." Karin said when Orihime only stood inside the door and stammered.

"We, we are." Orihime blushed slightly. "But I told him I wanted a minute with you first. Is there, uh, is there any place I should avoid letting him take me tonight?"

Karin flushed at the round-about mention of White Day the year before. If not for Orihime's quick thinking, Ichigo would have seen her and Toshiro kissing in the park. "No, um, we're not… I mean…. He can't…"

Orihime's eyes immediately filled with sympathy, and she crossed to sit on Karin's bed. "He can't come today?"

Karin shook her head. "No, there was this, uh, this huge Hollow eruption over in Europe two days ago. Seireitei is still dealing with it, which means everyone is on alert…"

"And if he was missing when he was summoned it would be bad." Orihime finished as the younger girl trailed off. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Karin said softly. "I… I understand what he's risking by dating me at all. I have to be happy with whatever time we can have."

"Couldn't you hang out with some of your friends, or…"

"I'll miss him no matter what, at least this way no one is asking me why I'm spacing out." Karin said softly, then forced a teasing tone into her voice. "It's okay, nee-chan, really. Go have fun with my idiot brother."

Orihime forced a smile and rose. "If you need anything… Not just tonight but anytime…"

"Yeah, I know." Karin said gruffly. "Thanks, and all, but I'm okay."

Orihime's smile turned a little sad, as if she knew that wasn't true but knew Karin well enough to not try and push her further. Without another word she turned and left, closing the door behind her quietly.

Even though it was barely 7pm, and it was a Friday night so she didn't have to worry about getting up for school, Karin closed her books with a sigh and got ready for bed. She just wanted the day to be over.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"It seems wrong that it's Friday night and we're not all out drinking." Rangiku complained the instant Momo stepped into the Juubantai's inner office.

"Oh, um, yes." Momo stuttered. "I'm sorry, I… I was looking for Shiro-chan."

"Hitsugaya-taicho is at his home resting. He just got back from some place called France, and…"

"Ran-chan." Momo said softly. "I'm looking for Toshiro, not Hitsugaya-taicho. I… I need to talk to him. Today."

Rangiku's eyes narrowed, then she let out a tired-sounding chuckle. "You know too, don't you?"

"Know?" Momo's eyes widened nervously.

"You're not known for being a gossip like I am, so he probably actually told you. I've just had to guess." Rangiku sighed as she rose and moved around her desk to stand next to her friend. "If I said that even with all we've had going on the past few days, he remembered to tell her he could not see her today, what would you say?"

"Yes, he told me, but he thought I was catatonic at the time." Momo whispered apologetically after a very pregnant pause.

"Always some excuse." Rangiku muttered under her breath, then forced herself to take a deep breath. She shouldn't be taking out the fact that neither she nor her taicho could sneak away and be with their significant others out on her friend. "He sent her a message two days ago, when we first found out about the problems in Europe. I think he should send her one today as well, but I can't tell him that because I'm not supposed to know, and…"

"And him and I never speak of it." Momo said softly. "I'm sure he's thinking of her, but maybe he thinks it would be worse if…"

"Oh, he's thinking of her." Rangiku sighed. "The reason he's home and not doing the paperwork is because after watching him redo five forms in ten minutes I just told him he looked exhausted and needed to sleep."

"I thought it odd that you were here doing paperwork without someone making you." Momo said softly. "I know that with this emergency situation on, you can't be with… your man either. I'm sorry."

Rangiku shrugged, still unused to the fact that after almost a year of hiding a few of her close friends now knew who she was dating. Luckily they understood why no one else could know. "At least I see him fairly often, and can talk to him. Be with him for stolen moments. But they get so little time…"

"Do you think she's as upset right now as he is?" Momo wondered. "I've never even met her, but I know you did at least once, and…"

"Kurasaki-chan is a lot like Ichigo, a lot like Toshiro. She doesn't show her feelings much from what I understand, but… But what girl wouldn't be upset about not seeing her boyfriend on a special day?"

"I… I think he should send her a message today. But I know him well enough to know he would think that might be harder for her." Momo said slowly. "I actually thought about sending her one myself, but I've never even met her. I don't know if Toshiro ever tells her about his friends, or…"

"I've met her." Rangiku said thoughtfully. "I think if we worded it right, and if I reminded her of who I was… As long as he's told her enough about us that she doesn't panic that anyone else knows about them… Although before we do this…"

Momo's eyes widened as Rangiku's voice showed frustration, and her friend raised a sheet of paper to wave it in the air.

"What the hell is a 12 sub-form? I know the sub-forms with the taicho initials and numbers mean a specific exception to the main form, but how do medical payments have anything to do with the Juunibantai?"

Momo laughed, glad that all the time she'd been an acting-taicho could help her friend. "Well, it only applies if the medical treatments were needed because of experiments done by Kurotsuchi-taicho."

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Karin woke at about midnight from a lovely dream about her and Toshiro watching fireworks together. At first she couldn't understand what had woken her, and then she sensed the presence of a jigoku-cho in the room. An instant later she felt it fluttering about her face.

Although Yuzu was normally a heavy sleeper, Karin took her standard precaution of wandering down to the clinic before allowing the butterfly to land on her finger.

And was glad she had when a female voice, much louder than Toshiro normally spoke to the butterfly, began to speak out of thin air.

"Hello, uh, Kurosaki Karin-chan. It's been a while. This is Matsumoto Rangiku, Hitsugaya's fukutaicho. Um, I know no one is supposed to know about you, so let me reassure you by saying I normally know nothing, and will know nothing again the instant I send off this jigoku-cho."

Karin couldn't help the chuckle that escaped her lips, although she wasn't really surprised that Matsumoto had figured things out. Although Toshiro generally spoke about his fukutaicho with frustration, she could tell there was a deep bond between the two. And she knew Orihime was friends with her as well.

"Uh, hi Kurosaki-san. I don't know if Toshiro has told you much about himself, but, uh… I'm Hinamori Momo. He's the closest thing I have to a brother, and um… He does actually know that I know, but he knows that no one else will know because I know, and…"

Karin chuckled again as the softly babbling voice began to trail off, and was replaced by the first voice.

"We're sorry to bother you, especially since we don't really know you, but we figured you didn't really have any girls who understood how you felt. And uh, we knew that if it was us, we'd want a way to talk to him. But the only way you can talk to him is if he comes to you, or if he at least sends a jigoku-cho."

The voice Karin now knew as Hinamori Momo took over at this point. "We both know what it's like to not be with someone we care about on a special day. So, we kinda figured that you could use this one to send a message to him. I… I've known him for what seems like forever, and I think he thinks it might be worse for you to hear his voice and not be able to see him. But I think, that even if that's what he's thinking, that he's wrong."

Karin laughed yet again, the main thought flying through her mind that this girl seemed just as bubbly and happy as Yuzu normally did. She made a note in her head to ask Toshiro the next time they saw each other how in the world he'd managed to end up with a best friend with a completely opposite personality from his own.

"We think you'll want to talk to him, so this way you can do it. Just speak his full name before giving your message, and it will return to him. We waited till it was this late to be sure he'd be alone." Matsumoto Rangiku's voice returned. "Kurasaku-chan… he's been like a different person this past year. And I know at least part of that is because of you. So, from the other women who love him, thank you. We'll understand if he was right and you don't want to talk to him if you can't see him, but we thought you should have the chance."

"I hope to meet you one day, Kurosaki-san." Momo's voice came quietly. "Toshiro is the most amazing man I've ever known, and I know you must be something special if he cares for you. Goodnight."

Karin could do nothing but stare at the black butterfly as the voices of the two women faded out after saying goodnight to her. Toshiro did actually talk to her a great deal about his life and his friends, and she knew very well who both of them were. She had even known that Hinamori-san knew about their relationship, but she'd never met her.

She was grateful to Toshiro's friends for giving her this chance, but at the same time she had no idea what to say. She had resigned herself to not getting to talk with him, so now that she had the chance she was at a loss. But she knew she couldn't pass up the chance.

"Hitsugaya Toshiro. Juubantai no taicho." Karin spoke hesitantly to the butterfly, grateful for the chance to speak to him, and also grateful the women had told her how to make the message go to him. He'd always had the butterflies set to report back to him when he sent her a message.

"Um, hi Toshiro-kun. I understand why you couldn't come today, but I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you. Missing you. I… I still want to make chocolates for you again this year, so please let me know if you'll be coming on your normal day, or if, uh, maybe we could just exchange presents on White Day? Not that you have to get me anything, I mean…"

Karin paused for a moment, embarrassed. She hadn't had time to think of what she would say to him if he was there, and talking to him when he wasn't was very hard. She wished Matsumoto or Hinamori had told her if there was an 'erase and re-record' function on jigoku-cho. Still, she had to press on.

"Um, I really don't know what to say other than I miss you. And I wish you were here. Please, please let me know you're okay when you have a chance, because even I know that if all of Seireitei is on alert whatever is happening must be bad. And I… I worry about you. Don't worry about me, I'm doing just fine. Except that I miss you. Uh, Goodnight."

Karin tossed the butterfly into the air, whispering her love's name again just in case the creature had forgotten, and then immediately feeling foolish. She agreed with both of his friends that the reason he hadn't sent her a message today was that he thought it would be worse for her if she heard his voice but couldn't see him. And six months ago that might have been true.

But she'd learned over the course of a year in a long-distance relationship that any contact was better than none.

Although she returned to her room and laid back down in her bed, Karin didn't expect to sleep anytime soon. She was waiting for a return message from Toshiro.

After nearly an hour, still waiting, she fell into a restless sleep.

When she awoke the next morning, it was because of a soft brush against her cheek.

The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was a single red rose. And the first thing she sensed was a slight echo of his reiatsu, telling her that he'd briefly been in her room. Under the rose was an envelope with her name written in calligraphy, and after only a second of hesitation she opened it.

"Karin,

"As Momo only smirked when I asked her how you were able to send me a message, I know I have my friend to thank for the fact that I got to hear your voice. I was just going to send a jigoku-cho back to you, but I found it was easier to tell you my feelings if I was able to think about them as I was writing them.

"I miss you as well, and you'll never know how sorry I am that I was unable to share yesterday with you. Although Rukia-san only introduced the human holiday of Valentine's Day to us last year, it was greatly enjoyed, and I know I am not the only one who is sorry that an emergency kept me from someone I care about.

"As my schedule is now, I will not be able to see you on White Day either, but will be there as normal on the first day of next month.

"I wish I could have been with you yesterday, but I want you to know that my thoughts were with you even as I know yours were with me. I thought about coming to you in the late hours of the night, but would have been able to stay so briefly that I thought it would have been harder on both of us than not seeing each other at all. I'm already worried about whether or not I will be able to deliver this letter to you without waking you and speaking to you. But we don't have the luxury of that kind of time right now.

"The chocolates you made last year were wonderful, and I am humbled that you would be willing to do something like that again, especially as I know how much you dislike anything that has to do with cooking. I will be looking forward to them for the next two weeks.

"Although I will see you before White Day, I want you to have your gift now. I hope that, in some small way, it can make up for the fact that we are unable to spend these special days together.

"Thinking of you,

"Toshiro."

The tears she had sworn she would not cry over something as stupid as not being able to see her boyfriend on Valentine's Day spilled over as Karin fingered the charm attached to the bottom of the letter.

Taking her charm bracelet from her nightstand, where she always set it before she went to sleep, Karin carefully added the new one to the two charms he'd given her last year when he gave her the bracelet for White Day.

Between the emerald solitaire the exact color of his eyes and the soccer ball now rested a silver heart.

Then she noticed that below his signature was a small subscript.

"I have heard it said that absence is like wind. It can blow out a small flame, but it can never extinguish a large one. All it does it make it grow. Guess which one I think we are?"

Karin whispered without thought, "The large one. We're the large one…"

And alone in her bedroom, comforted, happy, and feeling like she was on top of the world, Karin whispered for the first time words she'd never said to anyone she wasn't related to. She knew she couldn't say them to his face, but for now it was enough that she could acknowledge them to herself.

"I love you, Toshiro-kun."

THE END


End file.
